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Wow, I go on vacation and a few hours later they go and give 1UP a shiny new redesign. And good thing, too, because the new look is just about the only thing happening in this week's Retro Roundup. Gaming's neo-classical movement, it seems, is also on winter break.
We did manage to squeeze in one last episode of Retronauts before year's end -- how could we not, after last week's nigh-cataclysmic announcement that Dragon Quest IX will be showing its wyrm-journeying face exclusively on Nintendo DS? This week's Retronauts will, hopefully, give you the proper cultural context you need to understand why this single sequel has been likened to an extinction-level event. As always, it can be found in its usual corner of the Internet in convenient MP3 format.
We've heard Nintendo is prepping an amazing Virtual Console surprise for Christmas -- and they'd certainly better be doing something awesome next week, because the December 18th VC selection was... what's the word? Oh yes: Crap. Only three games, and of those only one is actually worth any money. But it could be worse; Japanese gamers got stuck with one of the lousiest NES games ever, Legend of Kage. Yuck.
Rumor has it that next week we'll be seeing Super Mario Bros. and Toe Jam & Earl. That would be nice, but it's going to take more than that to make up for this dud of a week. Maybe some flowers and a box of chocolates are in order, Nintendo. Think about it tonight while you're asleep on the couch.
Tennis
Nintendo | Rated E | Sports | 1986 | 500 Points
So, you're thinking about downloading Nintendo's NES Tennis for Virtual Console, eh? Let's stop and think about this. If you have access to Virtual Console, you obviously have a Wii. And if you have a Wii capable of accessing the American VC store, you have a U.S.-region system. And every U.S. Wii came standard with a copy of Wii Sports. And Wii Sports includes a rendition of Tennis which is, scientifically speaking, several orders of magnitude more fun than the NES game, which is (again, scientifically speaking) complete rubbish. So do you really want to spend five bucks on something that's way less entertaining than what you already own for free? Of course you don't.
Space Harrier II
Sega | Rated E | Action | 1990 | 800 Points
Space Harrier was a classic Sega arcade game -- and we do mean classic. A fast-paced hybrid of two flavors of shooter (space and first-person), it was difficult but addictive and featured super hot graphics. The sequel didn't quite capture the magic, but Space Harrier II was still loads of fun... in the arcades. The Genesis version, alas, lacked a certain something -- that something being the company's "Super Scaler" technology, of course. More than a gimmick, the arcade's ability to scale sprites created an impressive sense of depth and made for beautifully smooth action. This here Genesis version, though, is a choppy nightmare filled with frustration. There are cheaper ways of getting pissed off.
Military Madness
Hudson | Rated E | Strategy | 1989 | 600 Points
Finally, something worth owning. For six dollars, Military Madness is a steal. What's that, you say? You've never heard of it? Well, it was rereleased on PlayStation as Nectaris -- does that ring any bells? No? Well, how about this -- it's basically Advance Wars. Ah, thought that would get your attention. While it's been practically forgotten due to the TG-16's poor showing in the U.S., Military Madness has a richly-deserved fanbase who gave the game a chance back in the day and found a deep, challenging and rewarding strategy game. Players take turns moving units around a map, attacking enemy formations who square off in animated battle sequences -- in other words, if you've blown through Advance Wars: Dual Strike and are jonesing for more, this is the cheapest fix you're gonna find.
Still no word on new PSOne downloads for PSP via PS3 (go on, say it three times fast). In American, anyway; Japan, however, is due a new batch of software that runs the gamut from great to downright bizarre. Emphasis on bizarre, actually, since among the new downloads is Tail of the Sun, a seemingly aimless caveman adventure which we once named the most boring game of all time. Oh snap! Much less boring, but equally odd, is Rhapsody, which is still the only RPG where you can destroy enemies with pancakes. Quirky as they are, let's hope they make their way west -- their slow-paced, bite-sized gameplay seems ideal for portable play. Maybe they'd find more love on PSP than they were afforded on the original PlayStation. (Then again, maybe not.)
You might notice it's been one month since Japan got its previous batch of PS3 downloads, which we take to indicate a monthly service. So count ahead 30 days from America's first batch of PS3 downloads and you probably have a pretty good indication of when we'll be seeing our own next wave.
Given this week's pitiful showing, maybe we should have been greedy with last week's Virtual Selection title. It's no holds barred time -- we demand nothing less than the rarest and most expensive 8-bit RPG around. And it even ties into this week's Retronauts theme. That's right, we demand....
Dragon Warrior IV
Enix | RPG | 1992
Some call this the greatest of the Dragon Quest games. (Yeah, the series used to be called "Dragon Warrior" in the U.S. for reasons entirely too mundane to get into.) Frankly, we wouldn't know, because it was costly in the day and fetches downright insane second-market prices now. It's the usual RPG story: niche game, high price, low print run, series has subsequently become fabulously popular, neophyte RPGers want a piece of that action, eBay types profit.
So what's the appeal of Dragon Warrior IV? In a word, the story. The game was divided into three scenarios featuring different characters with unique objectives, including a merchant named Taloon (aka Torneko); at the game's end, a fourth scenario pulled them all together into an adventure that wrapped up the game's various threads. It was without question the biggest, most epic and most impressive 8-bit RPG, besting even Final Fantasy III, and would definitely make for a must-have VC download.
Oh, and occasional Retronauts guest Ben Turner will be happy to know that his own Virtual Selection, Soldier Blade for TurboGrafx-16, has just been announced for release in Europe. Can an American release be far behind? Well, maybe, but cross your fingers for a little Christmas miracle. Or maybe a President's Day miracle. Whatever.
Last week's roundup: Retro Roundup 12/14 | Retronauts
Thanks as always to Rey from VGM for the screens.
Source: http://www.1up.com
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